Is this a concern? I’ve had to rethink my career many times. Though, he consistently complains that he’s bored in the role and frustrated with the entitled clients but doesn’t know where to start in building his career. I don’t know what to say but I know for myself I think that the reason I stick with him is because I just don’t have the heart to break his and I feel like I will never meet a man that will be as kind and caring, whom I am physically attracted to. He told me it’s too late and we’re past that. If he has other family, I recommend that you tell him to move in with them. Quiet. I have to wonder--and I made this mistake myself--why a woman gets involved with a man that doesn't have ambition and then later on as they grow in the relationship and as she learns to love him she realizes that "oops I want marriage, kids, and a … Have been dating my boyfriend for almost nine years and I’m that time I️ have gone to school started my career and now moving up in it, I’m almost 30 years old and always thought I’d be married and own a house by now. What is it suppose to be about? I think so much about self improvement and it’s so ingrained that getting someone who lives by the day and.. anyways, thanks and I hope all that is having issues with their SO works it out or finds the courage to leave. She can share her part and give some “nudging” as you put it and see how it goes. I’ve been with him for 2 years now. Unless you want an infant I would move on. I’m wondering if him being single for years before me if he just snatched me so he has someone and isn’t lonely anymore. But it doesn’t have to be about me. We are supposed to be a team, and something clicked. Ambitious hardworking people like the writer is,   are catches for lazy people. Since your boyfriend is in his early 30’s project that you are fairly close to his age. But she wouldn’t have the number one quality that my girlfriend has: she accepts me as I am, and loves me unconditionally. He’s a very loving when we are together, full of affection and care. I have just met a similar kind of guy and I wonder where you draw the line on not wanting to be too success driven and having the “Peter Pan complex”. But he continues to complain, saying he’ll make changes, but then taking no action or relying on others to help him better his life. He has been the most loving and supportive person, yet when it comes to work ethic he is not as ambitious as I am. Enough! The guy im dating is younger then me hard working but cant see his goals no growing up i dont no what he does with money .he.will never treat you bad .the problem is he is dating other women that cant change his life. they are not satisfying their own discontent. Especially, because he was socially awkward, they wondered how he would be able to get a job. But now things are even more complicated because there is this other guy who has been in my life since I was 15. Hi Liz… I’ve just found this thread after yet another conversation with my other half, telling me he hates his current job but not looking for a new one. If he doesn’t he won’t. Become a teacher and own my own daycare center, and I will! But really, I'm very, very much in love. Maybe, I will regret, but took the risk, he does not deserve someone who criticises him all the time….we are all different, hope I can forget him soon. I’m tired. Let’s say she’s out there hitting the gym and watching what she eats and looking all hot and he’s sitting on the couch slurping down pepperoni pizza every night and rubbing a beer gut. I know I would be if I was made to feel like I wasn’t enough for the person I love. You want to motivate your boyfriend, not alienate him. Im in the same boat as you! He hasn’t travelled or lived anywhere but home with his parents, he doesn’t even pay board. Directed by Vincent McEveety. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Wow! Still he couldn’t give me an answer. He works at a deli & liquor store and doesn’t get paid that great. I LOVE this! I’m in this exact situation right now. Seems like you’re projecting quite a bit. He said there wasn’t really anyone. It just depends on how certain you are of the love you have for each other. I’ve been in a few long-term relationships that I knew, way deep down, were holding me back, but there were so many great things about the relationship that it was easy to ignore my gut. Again, he downs himself about college. My take is, you would rather suffer loneliness than a heavy body sitting idle. But I took a step back and assessed myself. He claims that he spends so much in renovations, but I do not see that he’s put much of his own money into it at all. To love someone is to love yourself… first. You might have great chemistry and like that he’s always down for a good time, but the guy who’s lazy AF just isn’t boyfriend material — here’s why: He’s not a man. I did talk to my boyfriend about not being 100% sure about my feelings for him and that I didn’t want to lead him on. Shame on me. He will feel like he never met your expectations because he hasn’t and won’t. We ve dated for a year and a half and I feel half my ambition has left me. I now don’t trust him to do any drinking and he still does. (Although, I will say that I don’t regret my time with him because I do believe that I have still managed to grow and discover some things about myself during this time). Maybe you see you and your boyfriend in her relationship. shouldnt he be proud of me? The No Contact Rule is a technique that some people try to use to get their ex back after a breakup or a divorce. If not hoe will you ever know. (I hear the Beyonce’ song Bills, Bills, Bills right now) I guess I said all of this to say be honest with yourself. I dont want to take the risk of leaving him. I hope you can make sense of all this. Some people are just more appreciative in the moment. I save my money..looking to invest and get educated on investing and purchasing property. get married bc you're in love while ignoring his lack of ambition. This also made me question our future together. Most times I feel guilty for not loving him as much because he loves me to the point of desperation I tell him. Here’s a sampling of your reactions: — I … And for most women my age, this is, indeed, unique (though I’m hoping not as unique as I think, fingers crossed).